twelve.

I don't understand why I try. And the fact that I try so god damn hard. I know that I haven't been the perfect daughter that you have always wanted but at least I'm not one of those drugged up sluts who have no sense left at all. But all I get from you is criticism, day in and day out. Every time I try to do something a little bit better, try to be a tiny bit stronger, work a little bit harder, the only thing you know how to do , is to cut me down all over again. I can't be perfect. I'm sorry, because after all thats all you wanted. Thats all you expected of me, but don't you think its a bit too much ? Well, of course you want me to try my best, but that motivation just doesnt mean anything to me anymore, because after all, its not going to do anything for me right ? Your just going to push me down to the ground again. Its worthless. Why should I even waste my time ? The answer is, I shouldn't, but I choose to do it anyways. But nothing will ever make you happy, am I right ? Of course I am, I have been since day one. I wish that just maybe once, even once, would be enough for me, that you might build up the mood to say something like "I'm so proud of you." or "I appreciate your help, thank you." but thats just to much to ask from you. If there was someway I could make you realize, to make you appreciate the things I've done, I would do it, under any circumstances. I really would. You don't give me anything to believe in, not anymore atleast.

"You need something more than I can give, & IM SORRY !"