thirtythree.

This one occurrence, just one, one question, is rapidly excavating every other thought out of my head, digging a deeper hole for itself to lie in. It's pounding vigorously at my brain, like there's an obstacle in the way that won't let it get through. I can't stop thinking about it, but I know I should, I have to, I need to. Its something that will never be, but as I think about it, dream about it, I'm falling up into the sky through the mesmerizing clouds that begin to blur the line between dreams and reality. I see the infinite blue with the wondrous daytime moon as I keep crashing through. It's the fact that these clouds just aren't tangible enough to keep me and my two feet rooted down to the ground. There's a problem though, it starts getting harder to breathe up here, and it just gets harder and harder the higher I go. My breathing starts to quickly shorten, becoming shallow, theres just not enough air. Its insufficient, just like my neverending thoughts of you. Its starting to make me feel lightheaded, and everything starts to become hazy, becoming distant. But me, I continue to plummet further and further while those truly lovely skies transition themself from the soft, flocculent blue hue, to a sharp mysterious navy darkness, as if it would take me straight to you. However though, my savior, oh my dear dear savior came to grant me the one final realization that I needed. As I heard the studious thoughts of my savior, the stars started to gleam, shining brighter than I had ever seen, becoming so much more beautiful than they were before.

You're killing me slowly, & that...you will never know