onehundredfiftyfive.

I cant trust my mind. I cant trust my heart. I'm becoming frustrated over things that shouldn't be frustrating me. I want to love, but I'd be setting myself up for certain disappointment. Something I used to always anticipate, the simple notion of taking chances, has now become something that scares me shitless. I don't know how far I should go because I'm too afraid that I will end up doing something wrong. I never used to care about this but right now all I really want is some leisure time amongst the stars, the meandering winds, and the strangers of the night. To clear my head and resolve these mental uncertainties of mine.

Thinking is the greatest torture in the world for most people. --Luther Burbank

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I feel the need to walk. The need to clear my head of all my destinations and let my feet take me wherever they want. Theres so much that needs to be sorted out in my head. It frightens me. Im not very used to dealing with certain emotions and they come to me as somewhat of a shock. So many questions running through my mind. Just the though of not having the abillity to control certain outcomes is not a notion that seems comforting, especially at the moment. Here I am, empty stomach, head full of 100% stress and confusion. I need to walk. Walk until I am lost. Walk until I stop feeling this way. You seem to be stuck in a sea of fakeness, where all the fishies just don't know which way they are going. LMAO. I love you Alyssa <3