twohundredten.

It's a crazy thing. How you can sit down for a few minutes and everything can change. how memories can come rushing back and the pain begins to appear. I know it never actually went away, but rather, i was just too afraid to face it. I've been through it before, but not with this intensity. I feel like I've given up my soul to the devil for you. For the first time in years, I've finally cried it all out. Maybe not all of it, but a good portion. I don't understand how it can still hurt, how I can still feel this stinging pain. I just wish I knew how to start letting go. how to understand things. How to move on. I let go of you, not because I didn't care. Not because I don't love you still, but you stopped showing me any emotion. I left because I couldn't keep letting myself go through the things you put me through. I lost myself. I wasn't the same girl everyone knew. The one who could stand up for herself, and not let anyone get in the way. But now, I've finally stood up for myself. And tomorrow, I shall wake up knowing I can do this, because you're not worth it. Not worth being in pain for.

I still love you.