ninetyeight.

I’ve realized that I’ve already taught myself everything that I need to get through life on my own. Independently. I’ve taught myself that there isn’t anyone in this world who will possibly be there for me when they say they will because when shit goes down, where are they to be found? I’ve taught myself to rely on only me, to never cry, because that shows weakness, and me? I’m much stronger than that. You think that you’ve taught me everything I need to know, you think you taught me to grow up. Well news flash, you didn’t. Never were you there to help me get back on my two feet when I fell to the ground. Nonetheless, all you did was throw more shit down into this pit I was already stuck in, But you see, all the things you’ve already said, all the things you’ve claimed that I am, I’m better than that. Your words don’t and will not cut me like knives anymore. You’re words are like the wind now, they blow right past me. Through all of this, I’ve never forgotten that I loved you, not once. I’m persistent. I try to get through it, pull through it, because it’s a known fact that there are others out there with bigger problems than I. I know I shouldn’t be tripping over the life that I have, but you make it that much harder to live the way I do. I’m only fifteen, yet you treat me like a five year old. I always listen, I do what you ask of me, but never is it enough. So then I chose to stop, and when I did so, you blew up! What did you expect of me? Excellence? Perfection? Nothing that I do is enough for your liking, so why should I try? Why should I push myself to this extent when in the end, you won’t be there to applaud. Why should I put myself in a situation where I’m stressing, trying so hard, when you won’t even take a second glance? People are completely oblivious to what I am feeling. And still you complain about who I am, yet you have made me who I’ve become. Edit-FYI: I’ve been ranting lately, no worries, I’m coming along just fine (: That was just a hard day for me.

You can sleep in your own bed tonight. I hope for your sake that you don't wake up as broken as I am.