I feel so fckd up, I may seem totally fine on the outside, but on the inside I'm a catastrophic train wreck. Why? I have no idea and I'm still looking for a clue. But everything I've held in, everything that I've wanted to say, everything that I didn't let out has hit me. It's quite sad, you could call it pathetic even, that I hold it in like this and I hate that about me. More or less, I hate myself, I'm not trying to be suicidal or anything so just chill out. I know I could be better. I could have done better, and I guess it's times like these that I really start to think about this. What is my purpose here? I wonder what things would really be like if I wasnt here, maybe then everybody would be so complacent and content with their lives. I wouldn't have to be the huge load they tug around like dead weight everyday. Maybe then the world wouldnt be such a bad place afterall, maybe then you would all be happy.
"Its rather odd that I watched an episode of Fresh Prince today
where Carlton wished he was never born, and he saw what life
was like for everyone since he wasnt around, and let me tell you
it was very different."
