ninetyfive.

Can’t I just learn to say no? That two letter word is just like the four lettered word ‘love’. When you’re put into that situation, you just can’t not say it. Why me, why, why, why. I’ve been asking myself that a lot lately, but I guess I just take time to learn and grow. No matter how long it might take, I will learn, and after all, it is only for the better. This change is omnipresent; it’s inevitable, constant, never stopping. There’s just so much that is still so new to me, things for me to grow from, learn from. I just cant stand to be mediocre anymore, in anything. I have just waited much too long and so hard for something like this to come my way. Pish posh applesauce, yea, never happening, but I do keep trying. Anyways, it’s only for the better. I am changing myself. Things that don’t matter just let them pass me by. I don’t nee everything because I’m happy being that good little girl I’ve grown up to be. I’ll just continue to tell myself and only myself that things will turnaround. Things always go down, and me, I have gone through so much to just say that things will fall back into place again. Maybe it won’t be permanent, maybe not to my satisfaction, but I will keep telling myself, repeatedly, over and over again, it’s only for the better, right? My journeys haven’t been met without trials and tribulations, for which I am thankful for having. Now, I’m just ready to start a new beginning, embark on a new me, and take a new turn in my life, for it is really time for me to do this. It is only for the better.

Sometimes we know we shouldn't and that's exactly why we do.